Laughter Chasing Fear

Ive had these words floating around in my head for weeks now, knowing they were weighty, hearing them over and over again, trying to understand why they lingered, and just a handful of minutes ago I realized the answer... but it was as the words came to life and demanded my heart and my action. I dont know how you feel about breakfast tacos but your girl is a major fan... and Fort Worth, TX has some pretty great spots for this kind of thing. Thats where I was this morning, sitting across from a sister in Christ early in the morning. Laughing about our lives and commenting on the beautiful sunny view we sat in front of... then over a few breakfast tacos and some coffee steaming out of our paper cups, we started asking the hard questions. Wounds often run deeper than we care to admit, or perhaps that we even realize. They bring back old habits and fears we thought we conquered or even didnt quite have before. She let me hear about those things, and right in the middle told me abou

In the darkness of night when I try to get some form of rest, sometimes all I can really say to God is, "I want to see you. I want to hear you." Because a dressed up phrase seems to fall silent at this point, and I simply cant find any more of a way to explain an ache I always seem to feel. A small moment of confession comes: "Lord, I know this ache is really for you." I always quickly assume the ache is what resounds of an unrelenting desire to be worthy, valued, and for a few moments to somehow be enough. Perhaps the ache is really a deep hearts desire to be wanted and pursued. Because the answer is "yes" to all that continue to look at my singleness and ask with the sympathetic head tilt, "Dont you want to be married?" Dare I say the aching desire to simply be thought of or considered, remembered in a moment when even the smallest words of encouragement can truly go a longer way than realized. Anything sound pathetic yet? Yeah, theres t