Laughter Chasing Fear

Today isn't what I thought it would be. Last week wasn't even close. The past 6 months have not looked anything like the picture my mind had….. My own ideas and plans seemed perfect, I was going to work for my college and go to graduate school, and achieve the hope and dream that was hovering over my life. But God called my heart to a camp in the wilderness and I came out 3 months later changed. My heart was not at rest with the path I was walking towards… I gave up the job, I gave up the degree, all the practical choices out the window. Now it was just the simple matter of living and getting a job, and of course seeking God's will for my life…. it wasn't that simple. I struggled for months in my efforts to make this life choice work. I leaned into loved ones for support in ways I desperately wanted to have independence. But, what could I do? Money didn't grow on trees so they tell me and something had to give soon, somewhere there had to be a door, window, or

Life is hard. Life is filled with pain. Life has twists and turns that seem to lead nowhere. Life hits you hardest when things seem okay. Life does not always make sense. Life is dark. And thats okay. Darkness has never been inviting. In fact, we spend so much of our lives running from it. The breeding ground for the scary scenes in a movie, or the monsters that are always hiding under your bed, it has never been the friend of many no matter what age. It also has a lifelike quality that makes it all the more terrifying. It grabs, envelops, taunts, runs, pushes, drains, and even cripples in the most terrible of ways. We come to points where it feels like its all we have known in this life. And for sure…. there isn't much hope of there ever being a single ray of light that will make difference to this dreaded enemy. If there is a picture that I have seen painted lately its darkness. And in true fashion, I assume that I know what its all going to be about. Darkness has b

Coffee has been a part of my life as far back as I can remember… When I was little, I used to go with my Pawpaw to a restaurant called Ginger Browns. Side note: huge delicious cinnamon rolls are there. But anyways, he would always order a cup of black coffee and add some sweetener to it. My little toot of a self always had to have some. I would take a spoon and take little sips out of it. I don't know why I enjoyed black coffee then, but apparently it started to grow on me. As I got older, I was allowed more copious amounts, and even ventured into the world of Starbucks. After a visit to England and my roommate in college acquiring a taste for a cup of joe, my horizons were expanded to coffee from other countries and hipster coffee shops that were teaming with other avid caffeine partakers.  Somewhere along the way, coffee was not just a drink that I enjoyed, or that kept me up a little later than I should have been. It became a sort of means for something so much greater than

Just as I am without one plea But that thy blood was shed for me And that thou bidst me come to thee O Lamb of God, I come, I come My mind is like a running  iPod most of the time. It really can get annoying. However, there was a time when it was the start of God wrecking my heart with an undeniable truth… I grew up in a Baptist church, so naturally hymns were a regular Sunday attendee. There is no telling how many countless times I have sang "Just As I Am" but for some reason those words brought new life. Ever since my journey back home from summer adventures, my life has drastically changed. I had everything in order and yet felt God calling me to release these plans to Him. Along with adjusting to life back in the "real world" this new found place in life threw me into a rather peculiar state. To say life was different was the understatement of the times, and I was one mess of a person. So many people tried to warn me that life after working at camp will n

There are many questions as Christians we hope we have the right answer to. So many situations where we hope so much that on that day we will answer correctly and a bright light will shine and a band plays because we knew the right thing. Like those many scenarios we hear of around the world or maybe even in our own country where its life or death, and if you claim Christ, the answer is death. I know I would hope on that day I would choose Christ no matter what it brought me, but tonight when I was asked one of the all important questions, I answered wrong. As I pondered on what this coming week is going to bring into my life, a song by Kutless came into my mind called I'm Still Yours. It goes a little something like this…. When my life is not what I expected the plans I made have failed, when theres nothing left to steal me away will You be enough for me? will my broken heart still sing? if I lost it all, would my hands stay lifted, to the God who gives and takes away?