The Single Girl at ALL the Weddings

The date: July 19, 2014

The occasion: My best friend’s wedding

We were about to take pictures and there was a certain guest leaving that I had to see. I rushed outside and found her, and she looked at me and asked the one question I was not prepared for… “How has this been for your heart?”

You see, this was not the first wedding I had been a part of, and it certainly has not been the last. Each one is different, filled with bits and pieces of the two souls that are joined together. I have loved every one. I have been single in the midst of every one. It was not until that day when I was asked a question I had been dreading for years that I began to understand how the Lord had been so faithful throughout this season of my life.

Marriage is the first institution created by God. Genesis 2:24-25 reads this way, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” Beautiful, is it not? Two souls came together at the outset of creation. God has filled His Word with the picture of marriage, and even refers to His people, the nation of Israel, with marriage covenant language in Hosea 2:16, 19-20, “And in that day, declares the LORD, you will call me 'My Husband,' and no longer will you call me 'My Baal.'... And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD.” All throughout Scripture, God refers to His people in this kind of language. Then in the New Testament, He makes a declaration about marriage that brings it all together in Ephesians 5:22, 25-27, 32, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.... Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.... This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

Can you see the mystery tucked within the words of God? The covenant and life of marriage is meant to be a living, breathing representation of the Gospel. A husband and wife are meant to reflect the relationship that Jesus Christ has with his church. The love, the steadfast commitment, the denial of self and sacrifice, all was created to declare to a watching world the mystery that is the love of Christ for us all.

What was my answer to her question? I said, “You know, if I am honest it has been hard. Watching all the people you love dearly get to experience this amazing thing while you stand in the background can be rough on the heart. But, what I have realized is that God has given me a glorious opportunity at the same time. While I may not get to experience first hand this kind of love, because marriage is not a guarantee, I still am witness to this incredible, tangible picture of the Gospel right in front of me. If that is as close as I ever get then that will be enough and I can praise God for that gift of mercy and grace.”

“The single girl” may be a label you wear and the current reality of your life. It may also be hard to walk that out in the current culture you live in, and for me, that is very true. I will never deny that it can bring hard moments and tough seasons. But, it is about so much more.

So, how do you survive wedding season? There is no special phrase to remember, no list of do’s and don’ts that will somehow change it all. But if you look behind the flowers and candlelight, the white dress and pretty music and everything that comes with that day, you will see a divine design that is meant to show you the greatest love story we can ever know or experience. When you are a part of a wedding, in any capacity, you come face to face with the Gospel and with His love. That is what makes it worth it. That is how you survive. That is how you can LIVE and be single at the same time.