Thy Will Be Done

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You know that quote that goes something like this..."life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" thats kind of what its like for me when God speaks to me. No, it is not a deeply romantic feeling, rather, its like the wind getting knocked out of you except it starts in your gut and then moves everywhere else.
You see, Jesus did this insane thing before He died and it has hit my heart a lot over the last few years and this morning it happened again...

 The night before He was killed He went to a garden and prayed with some of His people. It was not your typical bless the food kind of thing, but one that lead to bloody tears. I think we often forget that although Jesus was God all the way, He was human all the way too. He knew death was coming for Him, torture was coming and He did this human thing, He asked for another way. He asked God if there was another way redemption could happen for all of us. That reality escapes my mind sometimes, but, what He said after knocks the entire breath out of my body...
"Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done." Luke 22:42b

 That my friends was no human thing to do... giving up His want in that moment, leading to the worst torture imaginable, to save the people that did it and the humanity that was by virtue of their nature His enemies. Laying it down for you, for me, that is enough for a sucker punch to my gut, well my heart really. 

 A friend sent me a song this morning and as I was listening to it these words caught me, leading to me saying all this to you now...
When You cried out from the garden
Let Your will be done, not mine
When You took the weight of my mistakes
So I don't have to fight 'em
Now I let the sun rise on every scar and every sign
Of when You took this bruised and dying soul
And breathed it back to life

The title of the song is "Undone" and Im thinking heck yeah. Jesus leaves me entirely undone with those words, with what He did, with what it means for me. THY WILL BE DONE. 
Its not like from that point forward He just went on over to His bed and went to sleep for the night, no, His death was coming for my life. 
He has been after all of us from forever. You know His "in the beginning" knowledge of all of creation and at the same time His "in the beginning" intentions of redeeming us from our own human mistakes. Genesis 3:15b gives you these words; "he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel." Seminary talk calls it the "protoevangelium" or rather the first Gospel. Which yes is totally right but what it screams to me is God saying, "I see you, I want you, I am chasing hard after you right now, my love is coming to bring you back." I mean, thats what it was about, Jesus saying yes to death and loving us by laying all of His rights down and giving the enemy of our souls the biggest sucker punch to his gut.

I laid in bed last night talking to Jesus because I needed to but also because Im not entirely sure what the coming days will look like in my life. So, in my humanity I asked Him to open my eyes and let me see, just to get it. Then I stopped and thought about who it was I was talking to, Jesus, the sacrifice for my life, the healer of all diseases and afflictions, God. I can go into any situation, trial, pain, loss, or whatever it may be, and I could be blind, deaf, mute, unable to think/understand, tied hands and cut off legs with nowhere to go.... and I will still be okay, I will still have everything I could ever need to enter in because I have HIM. 

Jesus said those 4 words. He laid His want for something different down so I could literally have everything. He opened up a space for me to be raw and honest in the same manner, but at the end of myself to say those same 4 words, THY WILL BE DONE, because thats always the better way. Every. Single. Time. He is the beginning and end to my desire, to my want for something more. Im thankful and undone by this love today. 

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