God, what is this tower of FEAR and FREEDOM?
Have you ever been afraid of something?
I'm not talking just a little frightened... but a crippling fear, that grips your heart and chokes out any hint of courage and sends waves of anxiety through your body and you start to lose your breath, your will to even go forward... yeah, that kind of fear.
I remember it, a certain memory burned into me that I will never forget.
During my senior year of college God called me to work at a camp unlike many, a camp in the middle of nowhere, saturated in adventure and wilderness, completely in isolation from the outside world. Not only did He call me there, but on top of hill overlooking acres of creation, He asked me to give up comfort, security, and face some fears that haunted me.
Part of this adventure includes a zip line. Not just any zip line, but one of the biggest there is. Its high and fast and challenging and I wasn't ready for it. Amongst many new faces and stories I didn't know, I was asked to cross the bridge to the tower of said zip line. As the bridge dangled and swayed with the wind, I could feel the fear climbing up the back of my neck. I started to sweat and lose my nerve, and I stepped forward trying to put on, what was it people call it, a brave face? yeah. I didn't have one of those... When I finally made it to the tower, the overwhelming sense to run came. I found the nearest pole and clung to it as if it held all the comfort in the world I was looking for in that moment. I watched all these people around me laugh and joke, and thats when the shame started to set in. Sure, I was there and passed the checklist of things I needed to know, but I was not okay. It was all I could do to hold back the tears and screams that were threatening escape...
Maybe you're thinking right now, seriously? Its just a zip line, its just a bridge? Were you safe the whole time? Wasn't there an expert there training you? Weren't you surrounded by people that had to go through the same thing? Didn't you have one of those safety harnesses?
My answer to them all, yes, absolutely. Thats the thing, fear is not always rational. My fear also has a really close friend it keeps right by its side, distrust. There was no way I could trust those things. That is what it was about for me.... Was that bridge really secure? Can the tower collapse with this wind? Does the harness really keep me that safe? Would the lines hold my weight? What do all these people think of me now? I left that day carrying all of this.
You usually never know that a single place, a single moment will impact you to the depth that it does or how God is going to intricately weave things into your story that will change you. As that summer continued, I came to that bridge, that tower time and again. Even after taking many other people through all the motions, hooking them in, sending them down, the fear hadn't gone away. I simply had to press through it.
It has now been over 2 years since that day, and 5 days ago I visited that zip line again. But 5 days ago, I also wasn't prepared for what would happen. This time, I had a choice to go, and I said yes. As I walked up the mile hike to the tower I heard a girl talking about what she was heading to. I could hear similar words, understand similar feelings from that day several years ago, but something strange was happening. It was an excitement that began to course in my veins, a willingness to walk this trail. Maybe I can convince her it was going to be okay, that all of these voices in her head were lies and if she would find her courage to silence them then this would be an experience to remember. We waited at the bottom of the tower for a while, with all of my words and seemingly good advice, fear won for her that day. So I went up into the tower, and looked out at the creation around me. How had I not seen this before? I pulled out my phone to try and capture it all. I turned to talk to the others there and we began to talk, and dare I say it, even laugh? Soon my turn came, with harness on and straps secure, I was locked in and the doors opened, the release was pulled and I flew....
When my feet finally hit solid ground again, I could have fallen over and cried right then. Where was that feeling I was so familiar with? Where was the anxious feeling that grew from a hesitation to an entirely crippling fear? I could find no trace of it. It was gone. And in its place was an entirely new freedom.
Yes, it had been two years. There is not space here to fully detail all the life that happened in between. You see, God has a way of redeeming things. He has a way of taking all of the worst things about you, all of the things the enemy tries to use to draw you away, and not only challenges them but
turns them into something you could never imagine. In the last two years I have made many big life choices. I have walked into a season of learning and discipline. I have gained relationships and hurt others. I have sinned in ways I never thought I would. I have seen struggles surface in my life that I hadn't dealt with. But 5 days ago, in the midst of life, I came to a tower of fear, only it wasn't that anymore. There in front of me stood an 80ft high 3000ft long picture of the capability and desire of God to fully redeem what seems literally impossible. He brought me out to a wilderness two years ago, and I went back to the wilderness to find out I am not the same soul I was, and that fear, that impossible fear, it was gone now. It held no power over me anyone. God made sure the enemy heard Him loud and clear that day.
Have you ever been afraid? Is there a crippling fear in your life?
Maybe it hasn't been two years, maybe lots of life things haven't happened for you, and maybe when you stand face to face with your tower, you might find that its all still there. But maybe, God wants to redeem your fear to freedom.
To all those who fear, find your tower.
Jesus wants to make it your freedom.
I'm not talking just a little frightened... but a crippling fear, that grips your heart and chokes out any hint of courage and sends waves of anxiety through your body and you start to lose your breath, your will to even go forward... yeah, that kind of fear.
I remember it, a certain memory burned into me that I will never forget.
During my senior year of college God called me to work at a camp unlike many, a camp in the middle of nowhere, saturated in adventure and wilderness, completely in isolation from the outside world. Not only did He call me there, but on top of hill overlooking acres of creation, He asked me to give up comfort, security, and face some fears that haunted me.
Part of this adventure includes a zip line. Not just any zip line, but one of the biggest there is. Its high and fast and challenging and I wasn't ready for it. Amongst many new faces and stories I didn't know, I was asked to cross the bridge to the tower of said zip line. As the bridge dangled and swayed with the wind, I could feel the fear climbing up the back of my neck. I started to sweat and lose my nerve, and I stepped forward trying to put on, what was it people call it, a brave face? yeah. I didn't have one of those... When I finally made it to the tower, the overwhelming sense to run came. I found the nearest pole and clung to it as if it held all the comfort in the world I was looking for in that moment. I watched all these people around me laugh and joke, and thats when the shame started to set in. Sure, I was there and passed the checklist of things I needed to know, but I was not okay. It was all I could do to hold back the tears and screams that were threatening escape...
Maybe you're thinking right now, seriously? Its just a zip line, its just a bridge? Were you safe the whole time? Wasn't there an expert there training you? Weren't you surrounded by people that had to go through the same thing? Didn't you have one of those safety harnesses?
My answer to them all, yes, absolutely. Thats the thing, fear is not always rational. My fear also has a really close friend it keeps right by its side, distrust. There was no way I could trust those things. That is what it was about for me.... Was that bridge really secure? Can the tower collapse with this wind? Does the harness really keep me that safe? Would the lines hold my weight? What do all these people think of me now? I left that day carrying all of this.
You usually never know that a single place, a single moment will impact you to the depth that it does or how God is going to intricately weave things into your story that will change you. As that summer continued, I came to that bridge, that tower time and again. Even after taking many other people through all the motions, hooking them in, sending them down, the fear hadn't gone away. I simply had to press through it.
It has now been over 2 years since that day, and 5 days ago I visited that zip line again. But 5 days ago, I also wasn't prepared for what would happen. This time, I had a choice to go, and I said yes. As I walked up the mile hike to the tower I heard a girl talking about what she was heading to. I could hear similar words, understand similar feelings from that day several years ago, but something strange was happening. It was an excitement that began to course in my veins, a willingness to walk this trail. Maybe I can convince her it was going to be okay, that all of these voices in her head were lies and if she would find her courage to silence them then this would be an experience to remember. We waited at the bottom of the tower for a while, with all of my words and seemingly good advice, fear won for her that day. So I went up into the tower, and looked out at the creation around me. How had I not seen this before? I pulled out my phone to try and capture it all. I turned to talk to the others there and we began to talk, and dare I say it, even laugh? Soon my turn came, with harness on and straps secure, I was locked in and the doors opened, the release was pulled and I flew....
When my feet finally hit solid ground again, I could have fallen over and cried right then. Where was that feeling I was so familiar with? Where was the anxious feeling that grew from a hesitation to an entirely crippling fear? I could find no trace of it. It was gone. And in its place was an entirely new freedom.
Yes, it had been two years. There is not space here to fully detail all the life that happened in between. You see, God has a way of redeeming things. He has a way of taking all of the worst things about you, all of the things the enemy tries to use to draw you away, and not only challenges them butturns them into something you could never imagine. In the last two years I have made many big life choices. I have walked into a season of learning and discipline. I have gained relationships and hurt others. I have sinned in ways I never thought I would. I have seen struggles surface in my life that I hadn't dealt with. But 5 days ago, in the midst of life, I came to a tower of fear, only it wasn't that anymore. There in front of me stood an 80ft high 3000ft long picture of the capability and desire of God to fully redeem what seems literally impossible. He brought me out to a wilderness two years ago, and I went back to the wilderness to find out I am not the same soul I was, and that fear, that impossible fear, it was gone now. It held no power over me anyone. God made sure the enemy heard Him loud and clear that day.
Have you ever been afraid? Is there a crippling fear in your life?
Maybe it hasn't been two years, maybe lots of life things haven't happened for you, and maybe when you stand face to face with your tower, you might find that its all still there. But maybe, God wants to redeem your fear to freedom.
To all those who fear, find your tower.
Jesus wants to make it your freedom.
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