Souls DIED while I sat in my kitchen
I have always wanted God to move in huge ways in my life. Like as in, "wow can you believe what just happened? That is such a Jesus holy moment and it has to be displayed because I mean come on!!!" Yeah, real thoughts. But God has this incredible sense of irony and humor in my life, where instead these tiny, infinitesimal moments or words or happenings come and God's response to my sense of what I think is best is, "No. Here is how I am going to show up in your life to humble your spirit and remind you that I am active and present in ALL things."
So it came as no surprise that while I was listening to this KILLER message about kindness and goodness as a part of the fruit of the Spirit, instead of giving me these life altering lessons and huge wrecked heart realities, God whispers in the last 60 seconds of the message one piece of truth "its My kindness that leads to repentance."
The specific passage reading as follows: Romans 2:1-4 "Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man--you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself--that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"
You see I heard this message and these words days after a black man was killed by a white police officer, days after death and injury of Dallas, TX police officers. This happened right smack in the middle of arguments and insults and fights and disagreements and hostility between souls clothed in black and white and brown and red skin, among many others. This happened with the slogans #blacklivesmatter #alllivesmatter #dallasstrong #prayfordallas among many others. This happened in my life and reached my ears and touched my heart in the middle of me watching the country of my birth be alive in turmoil and at a place I have no doubt God never meant for it to go.
I have watched the church, His bride, His beloved people, respond in a slew of ways including a most contradictory mix of hate and love, lies and truth, hostility and peace. And I sat as a part of this and wondered what am I supposed to think and do in light of all of this broken mess? So I listened to this message that had nothing to do with what was going on outside, a message "His kindness leads to repentance."
about goodness and kindness, and thats when God did the thing He seems determined that my heart come to understand....
"This is wrong and that is right"
"We are Christians and that means we are just supposed to love everyone"
"This is a race issue" "This is not a race issue"
"This is police brutality" "This is police trying to do their job and duty"
"America is lost"
Some of what I had also been hearing... And then I hear again "His kindness leads to repentance."
Sitting up in my chair and letting that run through my mind and seep into all I had been processing. I saw the cross and that truth written across it. Because if I was entirely honest with myself I never thought of the cross as a kindness that drew me to repentance. I saw it marred with blood and torn flesh and displayed with every intent of wrath and indignation. Uh kindness? Really? Then I heard it again, and so I looked again. Yes, the cross bore all of those things but did God do that out of them? Or was it because of something else? You see, at the deepest part of my soul, the deepest part of the the soul of the black man who died, at the deepest part of the souls of the police officers that died, is a nature of sin. And when you place that before a Holy God, He must respond in wrath and judgment and consequence. But at the core of the cross was Jesus, who in the deepest part of His being only knew complete and utter purity. So when God looked at His Son on that cross He placed every ounce of that violent hatred of sin and let Jesus bear it all. What did that do? It made it possible for God to look at His sons and daughters with love, and dare I say, kindness. At the second one of those souls laden with a nature of sin comes before the cross of Jesus and surrenders that life, everything changes.
God did not send His Son to the cross out of anything but kindness and mercy to His fallen creation. He was and is desperate for us. That is why it is His kindness that leads to repentance, not His harshness or His anger or His deep wells of wrath. Do they have an ultimate place in the life of a believer? Yes, on the shoulders on Jesus Christ so you and I and the black and white and all other people of the world can know the fullness and richness of the kindness of God.
Humanity is not perfect. Yes, that means Christians too who will live with consequences and responsibilities for all choices that are made.
But in the wake of recent deaths and tragedies and really difficult affairs that involve created souls of God, maybe its really kindness that should be considered as the greatest agent of change and reconciliation.
Not the kind filled with hugs and pretty, decorated platitudes but the one that is filled with blood and torn flesh and a cross and a death and the very heartbeat of God.
The one that looks like the Gospel.
So it came as no surprise that while I was listening to this KILLER message about kindness and goodness as a part of the fruit of the Spirit, instead of giving me these life altering lessons and huge wrecked heart realities, God whispers in the last 60 seconds of the message one piece of truth "its My kindness that leads to repentance."
The specific passage reading as follows: Romans 2:1-4 "Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man--you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself--that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"
You see I heard this message and these words days after a black man was killed by a white police officer, days after death and injury of Dallas, TX police officers. This happened right smack in the middle of arguments and insults and fights and disagreements and hostility between souls clothed in black and white and brown and red skin, among many others. This happened with the slogans #blacklivesmatter #alllivesmatter #dallasstrong #prayfordallas among many others. This happened in my life and reached my ears and touched my heart in the middle of me watching the country of my birth be alive in turmoil and at a place I have no doubt God never meant for it to go.
I have watched the church, His bride, His beloved people, respond in a slew of ways including a most contradictory mix of hate and love, lies and truth, hostility and peace. And I sat as a part of this and wondered what am I supposed to think and do in light of all of this broken mess? So I listened to this message that had nothing to do with what was going on outside, a message "His kindness leads to repentance."
about goodness and kindness, and thats when God did the thing He seems determined that my heart come to understand....
"This is wrong and that is right"
"We are Christians and that means we are just supposed to love everyone"
"This is a race issue" "This is not a race issue"
"This is police brutality" "This is police trying to do their job and duty"
"America is lost"
Some of what I had also been hearing... And then I hear again "His kindness leads to repentance."
Sitting up in my chair and letting that run through my mind and seep into all I had been processing. I saw the cross and that truth written across it. Because if I was entirely honest with myself I never thought of the cross as a kindness that drew me to repentance. I saw it marred with blood and torn flesh and displayed with every intent of wrath and indignation. Uh kindness? Really? Then I heard it again, and so I looked again. Yes, the cross bore all of those things but did God do that out of them? Or was it because of something else? You see, at the deepest part of my soul, the deepest part of the the soul of the black man who died, at the deepest part of the souls of the police officers that died, is a nature of sin. And when you place that before a Holy God, He must respond in wrath and judgment and consequence. But at the core of the cross was Jesus, who in the deepest part of His being only knew complete and utter purity. So when God looked at His Son on that cross He placed every ounce of that violent hatred of sin and let Jesus bear it all. What did that do? It made it possible for God to look at His sons and daughters with love, and dare I say, kindness. At the second one of those souls laden with a nature of sin comes before the cross of Jesus and surrenders that life, everything changes.God did not send His Son to the cross out of anything but kindness and mercy to His fallen creation. He was and is desperate for us. That is why it is His kindness that leads to repentance, not His harshness or His anger or His deep wells of wrath. Do they have an ultimate place in the life of a believer? Yes, on the shoulders on Jesus Christ so you and I and the black and white and all other people of the world can know the fullness and richness of the kindness of God.
Humanity is not perfect. Yes, that means Christians too who will live with consequences and responsibilities for all choices that are made.
But in the wake of recent deaths and tragedies and really difficult affairs that involve created souls of God, maybe its really kindness that should be considered as the greatest agent of change and reconciliation.
Not the kind filled with hugs and pretty, decorated platitudes but the one that is filled with blood and torn flesh and a cross and a death and the very heartbeat of God.
The one that looks like the Gospel.
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